What do lonely means ? Not sure for others, for me lonely is a feeling that i need to overcome !
We came to this world (existance) alone, we got old and sick by our self and we pass away alone Nothing and no one can follow you or even experience what you going thru. Of course except your Karma and merits will be following you every existance you are in.
I was sick for 2 weeks, see doctor 3 times, yet my family didn't even notice I am sick. I practically been having difficulty of breathing, vomitting and upsad stamoch. And the problem doesn't stop there, my menstrual cycle is late. My weight keep going up. :(
Buddha taught us not to have attachment , but he didn't teach us not to take care of our health. I guess this time I really screw up ! I need to stop and recollect my self.
When I am sick, I feel even more lonely! Cook porridge by my self. Go to clinic by my self. The "best thing" is I can get up and do my work! Workaholic! What to do?!
I remember few years ago, I drove my self to the hospital for 2 times. I was really sick, I cannot breath, lips and nails turn blue black. I was admitted 5 days, can't even talk (cannot breath mah!).
Where is my family and friends? Not sure where are they. Well I used to be very very angry with the way they treat me. But now with Buddha teaching, I forgive my self and others.
Don't even ask me to get a boy friend or some thing like that, this being called "Boy friend or Husband" is only another hopeless being that can't help me. WAIT! Don't get me wrong. When I said hopeless means he can't help you, he is not you , no one can help you except your self. No one can replace you being sick. Therefore getting a being called "Boy friend or Husband" doesn't resolve my sickness nor resolve my loneliness.
The loneliness is originated within "me", because I "existed" that why I have so much of suffering. Other solution is just temporary. The only way is strike to the non-return path.
ya ya ya ...... it all come back to Buddhism .....
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4 comments:
Don't you sometimes feel you always talk too much about Buddhism. I don't mind speaking about it with you, but what about to others. We are living in the conventional world, and we should talk in a conventional way. If you keep relate buddhism to others, people might not find you interesting.
I mean it's not wrong propogate dhamma to others, but people might find it is a boring conversation. We must know when we to talk dhamma, and when not to.
I know it sucks to be lonely. Try start to build good rapport with your colleagues first. Even your friends you have now, don't always think that they have no time for you because they have family obligations and all those stuff. If they are your friend, surely they will spend some time with you. See even i can spend some of my time watching movie with you, why can't they?
About your family, i might not able to feel how you feel, but sometimes i do think you have to do something about it. Maybe the way you act that you do not care about them, makes them feel they shouldn't care for you too. Try your best to be friendly with your family. Start with your family first, then other else will follow. A simple hello to your Mom especially would make a big difference. Maybe when you wake up in one morning, and you saw her, just give her a big JOU SAN! :) Everyday you wish her this simple word, one day you might have a better conversation with her. Don't blame karma for whatever happen between you and your mom, your mom has born you out as human being, and you should be thankful to her.
Buddhism is a powerful weapon. It slice and dice attachment, and also radiates love. Use it wisely.
WAIT !!! .... I never blame my mother. I don't even hate her. Do You get it ? I just take it as silence is golden! That all!
Do you seriously think having all friends and colleagues tagged to you is call HAPPINESS? Am I really feeling lonely because my friends cannot spend time with me? I don't even have enough time for my self!!!
YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG.
If spending time with this sister, me is not value to you, you have to let me know. I will disturb you less.
Thank you for your advise Bro.
BTW, no one reads my blog . I write for fun!
Haha chill la, as a brother just giving you advises. No need to defend yourself so much. If you think my comment is not appropriate, then put it aside. But do remember that these are just my perspectives only.
Doing whatever possible intention to help you, nothing meanie here.
Best friends stab you in front !!
I am just feeling down....
sometimes really wish the 60 panadols do kill me ....
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